Top 5 Best Russ Quotes
Married’s first season has officially climaxed and come to an end. What’s the best way to celebrate? Let’s pay tribute to Russ with a collection of his best quotes on his least favorite subject: his moribund sex life. Here’s the top five:
1) Vacation: is it the only hope?
QUOTE: “I’m just excited for the hotel sex. We haven’t had real sex in our own bed since the kids.”
2) The first step towards a meaningless existence?
QUOTE: “I just don’t want to be told I have meaningless semen.”
3) It’s too bad dressing like a vampire didn’t put more bite into their sex life.
QUOTE: “It’s not even sex anymore. It’s somewhere between pity sex and necrophilia.”
4) Another mouth to feed makes sex a risky (but worthwhile) proposition.
QUOTE: “I did put a condom on. Your vagina ate it.”
5) When in doubt, it never hurts to be nostalgic.
QUOTE: “If you listen very closely, you can hear the orgasms of yesteryear.”